Sunday, May 05, 2013

Do you also feel guilty when you relax?

It is the 5th of May today and the sun is shining and outside my window the park is full of happy people enjoying the summer feel and warmth. It has been a long grey winter (the longest since 1959) and we all need the light. Me, I am inside in my bed with a virus and have lost my voice, have the chills and headache and a cold. Brilliant.

I am sure I am an easy target cause I have had many things on my little mind lately; I have been shooting my music video this week where we all froze for 3 hours; I have been quite nervous about my performance in it; I had a performance in Denmark and I have to be out of my flat in 2 weeks and am in the process of finding a new place. So, I have been in "worry" mode a bit too much lately and I often get ill when that happens. Worrying gets me absolutely nowhere and blocks my ability to see things clearly! I am very aware of this, yet I still walk down the road of fear from time to time.

Relaxing with a clear conscience
One good thing about being ill is that this is the only time I seem to allow myself to relax with a clear conscience. This is totally silly - I know it! I feel I should be working on music, promotion, networking, practical things and if I decide to relax I feel a little bad about it - it is a kind of guilt over not working on my dream. Relaxing is necessary for me to see things clearly not mention it being essential for our well-being. I actually found that I more easily relax when I move myself away from my flat or the area where I live in Berlin and go out in nature or if I am in Denmark or another country. So, as I am in my flat with a virus I chose to see the positive aspect of it being that I am forced to relax (I just had to write this blogpost too.....). I am yet again reminding myself that I have to change my patterns so I feel good about relaxing. I know this is not done over night, but I will seriously do something about it now.

Until next time,

Hugs and coughs

Nina x

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